Whether you’re a braid of the chop, have had a close shave with a wacky hair dye, or are splitting hairs over a wonky fringe. We have all, at some point in our lives, experienced a bad hair day!
Comb on! We can’t keep brushing this off! Let’s straighten this out buns and for all.
Am I going to use hair puns throughout this post? No! But I might fro the occasional one in! *Tumble-weed trundles by*
Ever since I was a little girl I longed for lengthy Rapunzel-style tresses. Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, they all had beautiful long locks. I mean, you don’t see a princess rocking short hair, do you? Hoping to look just like my princess idols, I began my mission to grow my hair as long as I possibly could. Weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. Alas, my hair started to fall flowingly down my back…
….Until I decided to make a necklace out of chewing gum.
Chewing gum + Necklace + long hair =
Through floods of tears, I watched my long golden locks fall frantically to the ground, as my mum took to my gum-infested hair like a scene out of Edward Scissorhands!
…Yep, that’s the scene!
Due to my mothers’ lack of hair-cutting ability, I ended up sporting a rather dishevelled bowl cut. It was truly horribowl!
With my princess hair dream in a heap upon the floor, I decided Barbie blonde hair was the way forward. Don’t panic! I didn’t reach for the bleach – I was only 8-years-old. No! What I did was even more extreme! It involved the decapitation of Barbie heads and a hat. What can I say, I was a kid with a great imagination! Needless to say, my mother wasn’t pleased when she found severed Barbie heads scattered upon my bedroom floor!
With my Barbie blonde dreams a thing of the past, my 13-year-old self decided it was in fact BRIGHT red hair I needed in my life. Without my mums consent, I hit the pharmacy to purchase the home hair dye kit of my adolescent dreams! I gave the instructions a quick skim read, smothered my hair in the blood red dye and waited.
One hour later…
Unfortunately, this wasn’t my only hair blip. I experience many a hair disaster over the years. From bleach gone wrong to perms that could give a poodle a run for it’s…err…dog biscuits!
But it isn’t just me. Most of us have had our fair share of hair-raising experiences. From disastrous dyes to scissor happy stylists, we’ve all reached for that hat, one time or another, to disguise a dodgy hairdo.
Let’s cut to the chase!
Have you ever looked back at an old picture of yourself, caught sight of an unsightly haircut, and thought “Man, what was I THINKING?”
Many of us have experienced some really bad hair days, especially in the prime of our youth. Whether we got sucked into a celebrity trend, or our parents decided a bowl would make a great cutting aid, there are some haircuts we’d rather bury in the deepest, darkest depths of our yesteryears. “But hair grows back” I can hear you say. Yes, you’re quite right. But sadly, dignity doesn’t. And judging by some of these dodgy hairdos…dignity had well and truly left the building.
Top Ten Worst Hairstyles
The Bowl cut
Oh my BOB! You weren’t kidding! Parents around the world really were using a bowl as a cutting guide. But wait! On closer inspection doesn’t this bowl cut look a little phallic to you? Perhaps we didn’t see it at the time? Maybe we were too enthralled by how ‘wicked cool’ we looked, unbeknown we actually looked like a giant male genitalia!
The 80’s Bouffant
The bigger the bouffant the better: that was the motto of the 1980’s. Nothing a backcomb and bucketful of hairspray couldn’t fix…or alternatively, inserting one’s fingers into a plug socket! Voila! We have hair that looks like it has seen a ghost!
The flattop. Another fashion faux pas better left in the 80’s. Let’s face it, there is nothing flattering about this look! In fact, it has left me on a pretty flat note!
The Poodle Perm
“I want to look like a poodle!” said no one many a person of the 80’s. Who would have thought a poodle could be the hair inspiration for so many? From mane attraction to curl up and dyed. The poodle perm faded out in the early 90’s. Many a brow were mopped!
The Rat Tail
The rat tail was never one to hit the pages of vogue, but it did reach a brief stint of mainstream popularity in the 1980’s (Has anyone else noticed a link between bad hair and the 80’s?) So what was the point of the rat tail? Well, the rat tail wasn’t just a rat tail. The rat tail could be braided, permed, straightened, curled with a tong, or even used to carry tiny chunks of cheese… *Coughs* Maybe I exaggerated on the last one. One thing that remains unexaggerated is the fact that this hairstyle was ratten!
Pat Sharpe (Pictured below) was the king of all mullets. But was this ever a good look? The twins seemed to think so! But I guess we’ll just have to mullet over! *Silence fills the room*
The curtains. No! Not the kind we pull at night – I’m talking about the once sought-after hairstyle that ONLY David Beckham could pull off. Once the world established they weren’t EVER going to look like David Beckham, the curtains were finally pulled and this crazy phase never saw the light again!
Is that a beehive on your head? No! it’s actual hair. It might seem unbeelievable, but in the 1960’s a swarm of people sported the beehive look. What an ah-muzen thought! The bee’s knees or a sting in the tail? I think I know which one it’s going to bee!
The Mohawk Extreme
When one Mohawk isn’t enough, why not sprout two more? Cool, huh? *No response*
Lesson to be learned:
STOP! Put those scissors down! Unless you are fortunate enough to have a hairstylist as a friend or family member, then I would highly recommend you to book an appointment with a salon professional. Hair cutting might look like it’s easy – just comb and snip, right? WRONG! Cutting hair takes time and expertise. And unless you want a wonky fringe or unwanted multilayers, I suggest you dig a little deeper and pay a little extra to get it done properly. Let’s face it, when your hair is a pile on the floor…there ain’t no sticky-tape gonna put that back together!
Hair we go again!
Let’s take ourselves back to that crucial moment. The towel is wrapped upon our heads revealing the results of the home hair colour we have just bought. Our expectations are high. I mean, the lady on the box looks just divine, and of course, we are going to rock this look so much better!
And so the drumroll begins…
….as does the hysterical crying as we catch a glimpse of our not-so-fabulous hair!
“Nooooooooooooooooooo!” We cry. In a panic, we quickly take the dryer to our hair, whilst trying to reassure ourselves that ‘It will look better once it’s dried’. Sadly, the hairdryer doesn’t seem to be cutting it. So we begin anxiously pacing up and down, thinking of how we can redeem this failing hair colour.
To bleach or not to bleach? That is the question.
If we haven’t got our heads in a sink, desperately trying to wash the monstrosity of a hair colour out of our hair, we will be pouring the contents of our cupboards over our heads!
We could call the hair salon, but THIS hair is too offensive for even the bravest of eyes!
We could wear a hat, but this will only draw more attention…
Lesson to be learned:
Home bleaching is never a great idea, just ask my husband. (We had a hair whoopsie just before our honeymoon) Think….
Yeah, this was the face my husband was making…
If you are hoping for a dramatic change, it is always important to seek professional advice. To avoid any hair WHOOPS you can book a hair consultation, or have the appropriate strand tests taken. Home hair dyes might look relatively straight forward, but unbeknown, there is a whole science behind them. If, like me, you don’t know your 1.1’s from your 8. Whaaaaa? Stop talking, my head is beginning to spin…then I guess, you might be in for an unpleasant surprise! Let’s step away from the rainbow hair dye, and book ourselves in with someone who ACTUALLY knows what they’re doing!
Hair today, gone tomorrow!
Hair fads. As quick as they take over a nation, they leave without so much as a “Your hair doesn’t look cool anymore!”. Remember a time when we thought the side pony was all that? How wrong we were! As we unleash our side pony from it’s multicoloured scrunchy (Yeah, I was 90’s kid!) let’s keep in mind, that as much as these hair fads come and go, dignity doesn’t!
She’s a mane-iac
Travelling back a few decades, we were all green-eyed with envy watching a curly haired Jennifer Beals dancing like a maneiac on that dance-floor (Flashdance) We desired those curly locks so bad, we not only had to take a bucket to our own heads to cool us down, but we also booked ourselves into the hair salon as quick as our fingers could dial our OVERSIZED cellphones. Turns out the perm wasn’t all it cracked out to be, as we faced the humiliation of walking out onto the street with hair one blue rinse away from pensioner!
It’s dark in here!
Whether it’s too short, long, bulky, or just plain hideous – most of us, at some point in our lives, have experienced a fringe gone wrong. With the nickname of “It’s dark in here” we can safely establish that I once on more than one occasion had a fringe faux pas. I blame my happy-snipping mother! “I’m just going to even out the other side” still haunts my dreams to this day.
Rupenzel, Rupenzel, let down your hair!
Long hair. It’s so over-rated. We spend half our lives growing it, only to find what an absolute nuisance it is! How so? Well, long hair gets EVERYWHERE! – If it isn’t stuck to our lip-gloss, we’ll be eating it in our sandwich, or worst still, risking our entire scalp as we trap our hair in the fridge once again. I don’t recall Rapunzel ever having so many issues (despite her boyfriend using it as a ladder, of course!) Moreover, double the hair means DOUBLE the MANEtenance (See what I did there!)
I whip my hair back and forth
Most of us have been there. We get a little too into the holiday spirit, walk past a braiding stall, and think to ourselves “I’mma get me some Cornrolls!” It seemed like a good idea at the time. It even felt good to whip them back and forth. But as our tans begin to fade, so does our love for our cornrolls. And so the corns roll out of our hair and into the arms of the Jolly Green Giant. Our holiday romance, no more!
Lesson to be learned:
We’ve all been there: whether we are lusting after rainbow locks, or jumping on board the dip-dye bandwagon, we have all said to ourselves “I need that HAIR in my life!”. We bite the bullet before it’s been shot…and BANG! Our hair is a mess, our dignity lost, and our bathrooms look like something out of a crime scene. Before pouncing on a hair trend, find out what actually suits you. A 80’s perm might look fabulous on the likes of Beyoncé, but it might not be so flattering on you! If you’re keen to try a hair trend just be mindful that it might only last a season. But then again, the bouffant lasted an entire decade, didn’t it?
From poodle perms to not-so-marvellous mullets, we’ve all have our fair share of bad hair. In fact, it is said that the average British female will spend the equivalent of 26 years of her life suffering from BAD HAIR. Yes, you heard me! TWENTY SIX YEARS! That’s a WHOPPING 156 days a year with a limp, unruly, greasy, or unmanageable mane. Is there any wonder we are reaching for the shears! But wait! Before we do a Britney… Let’s think of a life without terrible trims and laughable locks. I mean, what would the 80’s look like without the rock-star bouffant and heavily gelled mullets? What were the 90’s without the legendary…errr…curtains? And surely our childhoods wouldn’t have been the same without the comical bowl cut? Let’s climb out of those cardboard boxes, remove the paper bags from our head, and wear our BAD HAIR with pride!
Or perhaps not!
So, Comb on guys! I want to hear about your BAD HAIR DAYS…
What’s the WORST hairstyle you have ever had?
Ever had a bad experience with a home hair dye?
Did you ever sport any of the mentioned hairstyles?
Has a bad salon experience ever left you reaching for the shears?
and… were you ever subjected to the dreaded Bowl cut?