How to lose a girl in 10 ways, written by self-confessed ‘woeful womaniser’ Sean Smithson. This book breaks all the Mills and Boon’ Clichés as he brings us dating in the 21st Century. Okay, when I say dating I actually mean CHASING… You see, Smithson is the guy who ‘didn’t’ get the girl. In fact, he couldn’t get any of the girls he flung himself ‘so drunkenly’ towards. By the time you reach chapter five,
four, three, two one, you’ll know the reason why! But despite his womanising ways, you can’t help but love this guy…
Before we meet the author himself, let’s take a quick look at what others have said after reading his book;
“I sort of want to hate you, but you’re so refreshingly direct it’s brilliant. London ladies better watch out”
“Your adventures never cease to amuse and disgust me at the same time. And yet as a single lady, I continue to be intrigued as to how bad it would actually be to sleep with you”
“Funniest thing I’ve read in years. If this didn’t actually happen, this guy is a genius”
Sounds like a good read, huh?
So, how do you lose a woman in 10 ways? I don’t know, lets ask the man behind the book, Sean Smithson…
Here he is, all masked and mysterious!
AMANDA: When did you decide to embark upon a writing career?
SEAN SMITHSON: Hmm. I’m not sure I’d call it a career as such. Especially as I haven’t written anything new since the book came out! But I’ve always enjoyed telling stories (particularly embarrassing ones). So after a lot of encouragement from friends, I decided to make the leap from pub raconteur to writer, and set up seansmithson.com in May last year to see how my anecdotes would be received by people who didn’t know me in real life. The rest is, as they say, comedy.
AMANDA: Where do your ideas come from?
SEAN SMITHSON: Now when you say ideas, do you mean for my stories or are you asking why I do the things I do? If it’s the former, there are no ideas; they’re all real life episodes. And if it’s the latter, well then that’s simple: alcohol.
AMANDA: What was the inspiration behind how to lose a girl in 10 ways?
SEAN SMITHSON: Honestly, it was the female readers of my blog. Which is somewhat unusual as you’d expect most women to disapprove of the content. But much to my surprise, there were quite a few who genuinely seemed to enjoy reading about my sexual mishaps.
And once I’d established who was going to be reading and what they wanted to read about, it was just a question of which popular movie/book title I could rip off.
AMANDA: In a nutshell, what is this book about?
SEAN SMITHSON: It’s a collection of 10 of the most awkward scenarios I’ve encountered in my attempts to sleep with women over the last decade. Though unlike the film (on which I quite clearly based the title), there is no fairy-tale ending. It’s just one car crash after another.
AMANDA: Out of curiosity, did you have to ask permission to feature the girls you wrote about in your book?
SEAN SMITHSON: I honestly wouldn’t even know how to find most of them, Amanda. Though I have spared their blushes by changing their names.
Yep! That was probably a smart move!
AMANDA: Do you have any plans to write more books, or is it back to the day job?
SEAN SMITHSON: The problem is unless you’re fortunate enough to be picked up by one of the big publishers or you’ve got significant contacts in the media/marketing industry, writing a book is a lot of effort for very little in return. And mine wasn’t even a full novel.
That being said, I truly enjoyed putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and my love for storytelling hasn’t wavered. But rather than another book, I’d really like to try my hand at script writing, and am currently waiting to find out if I’ve been accepted to a film school to pursue a diploma in Writing and Producing Comedy next year.
In the meantime, I have unfortunately had to return to the day job. How else am I going to pay for the alcohol..?
AMANDA: What were you like at school?
SEAN SMITHSON: There’s no way of answering this without sounding smug (for which I apologise), but I was a role model student: good grades played in both the rugby and cricket teams, not one detention in seven years and was deputy head boy in my final year. Then it all went downhill.
AMANDA: If there was a movie produced about your life, who would play you, and why?
SEAN SMITHSON: Being of South Asian descent, there are really only three choices: the guy from Van Wilder/Harold and Kumar, the guy from Big Bang Theory or the guy from Rules of Engagement. And to be honest, I’m not a fan of any of them. Though the last one at least sounds like me. Or so I’ve been told.
If I’m allowed some wiggle room however, then I’d have to say Zach Braff as he’s just so great at the whole clumsy, self-deprecating thing.
I can absolutely see the resemblance!
AMANDA: You strike me as the partying type, if you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for?
SEAN SMITHSON: I definitely used to be but I’m becoming boring in my old age (32). However if you insist on me throwing one, I’d have to insist on a pool party; probably in South Beach, Miami. And Amanda, c’mon now, there doesn’t have to be a reason!
AMANDA: Have you got any strange party tricks?
SEAN SMITHSON: You’ve read the book. I think you already know the answer to this one.
Yes…Don’t remind me!
AMANDA: If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? And why?
SEAN SMITHSON: Oh man, it’d have to be twelve. Although I didn’t think it at the time, life was such a piece of piss. And that’s also when I first met my ex-wife.
AMANDA: What are you afraid of the most?
SEAN SMITHSON: Being trapped doing something I’m not passionate about for the rest of my life.
AMANDA: If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do?
SEAN SMITHSON: Pay off my brothers’ mortgages and set up college/life funds for all my nephews/nieces. OK so that’s the first two things.
AMANDA: If you could be a woman for one day, what would you do in this time? (Do I really want to know?)
SEAN SMITHSON Just stare at and play with my boobs, I imagine.
*And cue the eye roll*
AMANDA: What was the worst thing anyone has walked in on you doing?
SEAN SMITHSON: Probably jeeee…… *Amanda quickly puts her fingers in her ears and sings LA LA LA*
Amanda: …Why did I ask?
AMANDA: If you could see the future, what would you hope to see yourself doing in 5 years?
SEAN SMITHSON: Hopefully writing comedy scripts for TV/radio. But if not that, then boarding a plane with a one way ticket to anywhere.
Okay, not sure why, but this image popped into mind.
How To Lose A Girl In 10 Ways: A Book Review by Amanda Lyle
When the book finally arrived, I was delighted to see it didn’t have many pages! (Only 98 pages including the all-important glossary!)
Yep! This is how pleased I was.
Although, I had agreed to the book review. I didn’t want to be reading no 500 pager!
I had arranged to meet a friend, so I popped the book down on the side and waved goodbye to my husband. Ten minutes later, I realised I had forgotten my phone (Yep, this happens on a regular basis!) So I made my way back to the house. As I approached the window, I peeped inside to get my husband’s attention (and so he could let me back into the house, without having to rummage for my keys through my, Mary-Poppins-can-never-find-a-damn-thing, handbag!) only to find my husband’s head in my book, eyes widened and mesmerised by its content!
“How dare he?” I thought. “Is he trying to get rid of me?”
He quickly threw the book down before I caught him in the act. You see, this book radiates naughtiness, a pick me up and read me if you dare!
When I had a moment, I made myself a cup of tea, drew my curtains and sunk down into my bed. I opened the book to find a beautiful scribbled message inside the cover. I could just about read it, when I squinted my eyes and mustered up some brain power…”Aww” I sighed, with a smile… The smile soon wore off as I read the books first line…
“I knew from the first moment I saw her that Catherine and I were going to end up sleeping with one another”
…And it was pretty much downhill from there!
But wait! I couldn’t stop myself from reading on. I was hooked! I read one page after the other, mesmerised, and slightly disgusted. Nope! Let’s not sugar-coat this, DISGUSTED. At one point I even choked on my Earl Grey! (Okay, I don’t actually drink Earl Grey, but PG tips doesn’t sound so sophisticated, does it?) Earl grey or PG tips, the tea was spat over Chapter #9 … Nothing a tea towel couldn’t fix!
Did this stop me reading on? Heck no! I reached the end of the book in a matter of hours.
Never before had a book provoked so many emotions, from fits of laughter to throwing my hands over my face in disgust.
I would liken my experience of How to lose a girl in 10 ways to being a ‘fly on the wall’ in the life of a single and ready-to-mingle,
slighty desperado with only one thing on his mind…
So, as you can imagine I was exposed to a string of seedy ‘guys nights out’, filled with misbehaviour and much tomfoolery.
Now, the book title is a little misleading. I thought I could advertise this book as some sort of…
I was expecting a 10 point guide on how to lose a girl. I was wrong! The thing is, Sean never got the girl in the first place… Unlucky in
love Lust, Sean managed to ruin every chance of ‘pulling’ his dream girl any girl he could find by the most unfortunate of events.
So, rather than shaking off an overbearing girlfriend, we have a guy who naturally scares girls away with a string of hand-over-eyes cringe worthy situations…
Without giving too much away, there was an incident involving some spicy food, a toilet cubicle and one very
repulsed distressed date victim!
Although I didn’t agree with some of Sean’s ethics, I couldn’t help but feel for the poor guy. By the end of the book, I was routeing for him. I had my ‘You can do it!’ T shirt on, and I was screaming ‘For crying out loud, just ‘pull’ already, I want my happily-ever-after!’ I didn’t care if it was just the one night or a marriage in the making. “Just please give the guy a break and let him have some…errr… Fun!”
The question is, did Sean get his happily-ever-after? Or was there an unfortunate event too far?
I guess you’ll have to read and find out!
*And cue the cheesy book selfie*
Note: DO NOT read this book if the following applies to you:
You are easily offended
You find toilet humour distasteful
You don’t want your girlfriend /wife to catch you reading it!
If you are none of the above, and you haven’t been well-and-truly put off, you can purchase How To Lose A Girl In Ways in one simple click of the link(s) below!
The link to the Kindle version is also on that page for the eReader crew – They are currently 30% – So, go grab yourself a BARGAIN!
Calling all internationals! These guys are currently offering 27% off but they do FREE international delivery!
Finally, I would like to say a BIG thank you to Sean Smithson for participating in my interview. I wish you the very best of luck with your book.