Valentine’s Day. For some people, it brings love, happiness and joy. For others, it brings nothing but disappointment and a sad reminder of how their relationships have gone down the… (You fill in the gap!). For my very first valentine’s day, my husband whisked me off to Paris. A big mistake. I mean, how could he ever live up to that?! Moving on…Our second valentine’s day was spent wining and dining in candlelight. It was nice, but it wasn’t Paris. On our third valentines, I spend months making a scrapbook of our memories together. He flicked through the many pages with this over-animated smile on his face. Deep down he was thinking “If only she’d put this much effort into the burnt meal she just cooked me”.

…..Fast forward to 2013. I had spent weeks editing our wedding videos, to make a short movie of our special day, and all I got in return was a poxy card, price tag included. The tumbleweed moment came, as I waited in anticipation for my husband to reach behind the cushion and pull out my valentine’s surprise. The moment passed, and,  it was at that point when I realised Valentine’s Day just wasn’t the same.

But why is there so much pressure to conform to the expectation of Valentine’s Day? It’s become less about appreciating the one you love and more about who can buy the most extravagant gifts. “Well, Marion’s husband bought her a gold encrusted sex swing”. Whilst images of Marion and her husband, gyrating on the ‘swing o Love’, fill your head, ask yourself… If valentines is the one day a year we MUST show our love and appreciation for one another, what about the other 364 days of the year? It seems so pointless to put such effort into just one day. Surely, it should be Valentine’s Day, every day? If the amount of effort put into Valentine’s Day was shared, equally, amongst the other 364 days, surely we’d all be happy?




In late January, heart-shaped balloons and over-sized teddies start to fill window displays. A miserable time for the singleton, and an even more miserable time for the recently broken-hearted. Can they shove this media hype down our throats any further? Talk about Kicking a singleton when their down. Whilst their friends are out, wining and dining with their loved ones, these sorry souls are sat at home, drowning their sorrow. There is no doubt, you can find a whole nation of singletons, eating pizza, watching rom-coms and crying despairingly into their cushions. Their guns are out and they are ready to shoot that bloody funky pigeon.

We spend so much of our time agonising over Valentine’s Day. Women generally, stress-out about setting the right ambience. Yes, 200 candles is plenty enough, we don’t want to the end the night in the infirmary. On the topic of fire, we also fear burning the food. Food is essential to the creation of the perfect Valentine’s Day. After all, a way to a man’s heart is through his belly! Us women, spend hours, days and even months, creating the perfect gift for our loved ones.




Whether it be a book of your finest moments together or the hand-knitted scarf of his dreams…you can be sure that a lot of time and effort has gone into them. It’s a shame we can’t say the same about our partners, as they run around like headless chickens, on the eve before Valentines, placing any old tat into their shopping baskets. “Oh yay, another over-sized teddy bear to add to a collection of many”. Our hearts sink, as we debate where we are going to home these monstrosity’s!

I feel like I have spent a lifetime creating these ‘so-called’ sentimental gifts, only for them to be given the once over and placed upon the pile of other unwanted, handmade presents. I’m fed up with pouring my heart and creativity into projects that just aren’t appreciated. But, let’s be honest, would a man rather unwrap a handmade, paper Marche heart sculpture, or would he be more thrilled to see you carrying out his steak in your sexiest lingerie? I think we all know the answer.


valentines treat


So the lesson to be learned here is to STOP spending so much time fussing over our handmade gifts, and give the man what he really wants. This will eliminate the rejection we feel, as our gifts get the once over, like an excited child at Christmas. It will also mean, we can spend the day in higher spirits, rather than locking ourselves away in the kitchen, grating cheese furiously, whilst thinking of our partner’s heads. Rather than have your man panic-stricken just hours before the big day, why not tell him to ‘hold out’ on the over-sized teddies and garage-bought flowers, and give you a nice massage instead. A win – win situation, everybody’s happy


….hang on, not everyone.


If you have a single friend, who will be spending most of valentine’s alone and depressed, send them a card courtesy of Valentines-Scrooge or not, everyone loves a secret valentine, especially from the Funky pigeon himself!



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