“I’m bored…I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m bored!”.
It’s been 7 hours and 15 days, Sinead O Conner sang with a tear in her eye. It was barely 2 hours before I had tears in my eyes and began counting down the hours until my daughter’s pesky playdates departure. I had agreed to let her come over for the day, thinking it’s only 6 hours – time will fly by! How wrong I was. That clock ticked slower than a pregnant snail attempting a hill climb. At one point, I took to an upstairs room. I locked myself in, rocked side to side in a corner and muttered insanities to myself. I have nothing against having my daughters school friends over but this one, as small and cute as she appeared, was a tough one…tough with capital T. Ever demanding and how many times can one bare those two words…”I’m bored”. Do I look like a clown? I am no children’s entertainer!
However, this kid had guilt-tripped me into setting up obstacle courses around the house, making pancakes and commentating on a pop contest (In which, she had to be the winner!). Call me old fashioned but what’s wrong with a quiet game of Barbies? When I was a kid, My best friend and I spend hours picking flowers, transforming them into vulgar smelling perfumes and selling them to people in the neighbourhood…Okay, so this probably wouldn’t be safe these days, but modern day kids seem to lack imagination.
4 and a half hours into her 6-hour stay and I felt like I was going insane. Everything she did was now unbearably annoying. The sound of her sniffing through her snotty nose like a pig slurping out of it’s trough, my attempts of offering tissues were dismissed and the noises continued.
The way she would offer me parenting tips on how to look after my OWN baby. The hovering over me, watching my every move, judging my every decision. In fact, the majority of her stay was spend invading my personal space, trying to snatch the baby out of my hands. I had to let her hold him in the end, which didn’t go down so well as she almost dropped him. After my heart almost fell out of my mouth I decided to take back some control. I took the baby and hid…only to be found again! I was a nervous wreck by the time her mother came to the door. She smelt of alcohol, and now I know why! “Angelic, wasn’t she? She always is” her mum slurred. I just smiled and ushered them out of the door as quick as I could. I tell you what, I was reaching for the bottle after that play-date and by the end of the day, looked a little something like this….